<p>For a long, long time I suppressed my sexual desires. For the most part, at least. Every so often I’d surrender to them and masturbate to something particularly kinky, but otherwise I kept them at bay.</p><p>I got married at 22 to a supremely vanilla girl. Maybe even a little bit of a prude. We had sex, but we didn’t have sex all that often and it was either missionary or girl on top. Dirty talk wasn’t really in the cards. It was lots of moaning and groaning and that was about it.</p><p>I can clearly remember always feeling like I wasn’t quite getting what I needed (or wanted, I suppose, depending on how you look at it). We’d be having sex and it would be quite lovely and yet my mind would be wandering to the dirty things I wished she would say or do. I’d end up getting frustrated that I couldn’t get her to offer up a little something and the whole experience would end up being kind of disappointing because of it.</p><p>You know what made it worse, though? On a handful of occasions she actually did something I really wanted. There was this one time when she dressed up in this tight, shiny black top and boyshorts and took charge. We were still really young so it wasn’t like she was this experienced domme, but it was a little taste of her playing the dominant role. It was so fucking hot. That only ever happened once, though. Just that one time and that was it, even though I hinted at really enjoying it.</p><p>There was also the time she kissed another guy. Or he kissed her, I guess. She thought they were just friends and he thought it was something more and after they went out for coffee she drove him home. In his driveway he leaned over and kissed her.</p><p>She confessed it that night. She felt so guilty and yet I couldn’t find the anger someone is supposed to feel when their spouse kinda, sorta cheats on them. Instead, I felt desire. I felt crazy desire. That desire led to sex. Really good sex. Sex fueled by what I would later come to know as my cuckold desires.</p><p>Ultimately our marriage came to an end a few months before my 30th birthday. The sex was part of it. It just wasn’t very good and we’d gotten old enough to understand that it wasn’t going to get better. In fact, it was only going to get worse. I don’t know if the lack of a sex life made everything else a little bit worse or if we just didn’t work that well as a couple, but we ended up going our separate ways. Thankfully, it was an amicable divorce. We’re not really friends – I moved to San Francisco for a job shortly thereafter, putting us nearly 3,000 miles apart – but I have no animosity towards her.</p><p>This diary is about what came after my marriage. As it turns out, moving to San Francisco was exactly what I needed to finally unleash my sexuality.</p><p>It’s like not like I blossomed into the man I am the moment I moved. I guess it works like that for some people, but I wasn’t a closeted gay guy. I was, I guess, a closeted kinkster that leans towards submission. That isn’t quite as simple to figure out, especially for someone raised in a fairly conservative household (religious, but not insanely so).</p><p>The first girl I dated in San Francisco was a lot like my ex-wife. That’s probably not surprising, but it wasn’t what I was looking for. She was sweet and pretty but she was also really conservative, sexually speaking. We dated for four months and it was nice, but when she asked me why I didn’t seem as thrilled with the sex as her other boyfriends had been I knew it was time to end it. I’d stumbled into a repeat of my failed marriage. It ended up being a pretty painful experience, especially since I made the mistake of saying that she was essentially too conservative for me (I believe boring was the word I used, which was stupid). She didn’t care for that. There was some yelling and crying.</p><p>I ended up at a bar a few nights later. I was looking to get drunk. It’s so cliché, but I just wanted to numb the pain for a little bit. After four drinks I started talking to the bartender. She had tattoos up and down both arms and a lip ring that I found intoxicating. She was the kind of girl I would never have considered even talking to in my previous life, but I was drunk and in pain and she seemed willing to listen.</p><p>I won’t bore you with all the details, but this lovely bartender, whose name was Molly, invited me back to her place after her shift ended. That had never happened to me before so I didn’t understand what she was asking at first. When the fuzziness cleared and it became obvious Molly was asking me back to her place for sex I was on board.</p><p>She was aggressive from the start. She pushed me against her door the moment it shut. She grabbed a handful of my hair as we kissed. The feel of her lip ring against my tongue was surprisingly sexy.</p><p>“Are you going to make me feel good?” she asked after the kiss.</p><p>“Yes,” I said.</p><p>Her fingers moved to my throat and she applied just a little bit of pressure. I felt a little scared, to be honest, but she never squeezed hard enough for it to be dangerous. I think she was testing me. I think she wanted to see if I was willing to play like she wanted to play.</p><p>She released my throat and walked towards the bedroom. I followed and watched Molly pull off her t-shirt and jeans. I did the same and was rewarded with an aggressive kiss as she pressed her body into mine. Her breasts felt warm and soft against my skin and her nipples were so hard. I don’t know if she sensed my willingness to submit like she wanted or if she was just in need of sexual relief, but Molly was unquestionably turned on.</p><p>“Do you know how to eat pussy, Tyler?” she asked.</p><p>I nodded.</p><p>Molly put her hand on the top of my head and pushed down. “Show me,” she said.</p><p>I dropped to my knees and she pulled me between her legs. Her grip on my hair was tight and a little bit painful, but of course that turned me on. In fact, as I looked up at Molly and licked her pussy I was more turned on than I’d ever been in my life. The whole thing was a head trip, from going down on someone I’d known for just a few hours to submitting to her very obvious dominant desires.</p><p>“Mmm, you do know how to eat pussy,” she said.</p><p>I’ll admit that I felt a sense of pride and I worked a little bit harder to make her feel good. I licked and sucked on her clit and Molly moaned as she grabbed a second handful of my hair and held me between her legs. She was close to smothering me with her pussy lips, which was awfully hot.</p><p>“On your back in my bed,” Molly demanded as she stepped back.</p><p>I scrambled into her bed and looked down at my dick, which was hard as a rock. Molly pulled a condom from her nightstand and tossed it to me. I tore it open and rolled it down my cock as quickly as possible. I was about to get laid by the beautiful, tattooed girl standing by the side of her bed. The excitement was overwhelming.</p><p>I expected Molly to sit on my cock. Instead, she sat on my face. She actually smothered me with her pussy. It was the look of complete and total delight on her face that kept me from panicking. Looking back, I wonder if she saw something in me at the bar that she thought she could take advantage of. Maybe she knew I’d be a perfect submissive partner, that she could take me to her apartment and do whatever she wanted with me. She was right about that.</p><p>“God damn that tongue of yours is good,” Molly said before throwing her head back and riding my face a little. I felt the wetness spreading as she used me. It was truly wonderful and an absolute mess, which I couldn’t get enough of.</p><p>Molly slid her pussy down my chest and took me inside her. She smiled as I groaned from the absolute joy of being in a girl who was comfortable having total control.</p><p>“Your face is covered in pussy,” she said. “What a fucking mess.”</p><p>Molly ran her fingers over my face and pushed them into my mouth. I sucked them clean without thinking about it. She held them there and her pussy started to rock back and forth on my cock. She pushed her fingers deeper into my mouth. I gagged a little and it seemed to delight her.</p><p>Molly’s other hand found its way to my throat. She applied a little bit of pressure. I know it should have scared me a little, but it didn’t. It turned me on. It was her taking control. It was her being dominant. It was me experiencing something completely new and loving every second of it.</p><p>She pulled her fingers from my mouth and kissed me. It was a passionate kiss, too. It was Molly saying that she was enjoying herself, and I was totally on board.</p><p>She sat up, released my throat, and took both my nipples in her fingers. She squeezed and pulled and I cried out in pain. It fucking hurt, but again my cock stiffened in her pussy. Again Molly seemed to delight in it. I think she was just toying with me and getting off on it.</p><p>“You’re a kinky little bitch, aren’t you?” she asked.</p><p>I nodded. I wasn’t, really. Not at the time, at least. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. I was just happy to let Molly take the lead and do whatever she wanted with me. That seemed good enough for her, though.</p><p>The harder she rode me the louder she moaned and the closer I got to an orgasm. I didn’t want to cum before she did, but I wasn’t sure I could hold back. Again, I was insanely aroused.</p><p>“You’re getting close, aren’t you?” she asked.</p><p>I nodded.</p><p>“Don’t you fucking cum before I do,” she demanded.</p><p>I tried to think about something else. I was so far gone, though.</p><p>Molly caught me off guard when she slapped me across the face while riding my cock. It was a good slap, too. The sound was loud and the pain was exceptional. It was also the thing that made me cum. That’s a little embarrassing, but it was just so wild to get slapped by a girl that I couldn’t help it. I came so fucking hard.</p><p>I expected to see an angry look on her face when I opened my eyes again. She wasn’t angry, though. She was smiling.</p><p>“Open your mouth,” she said.</p><p>I opened my mouth and Molly leaned over and spit into it.</p><p>“Swallow,” she said.</p><p>I swallowed and she lifted her pussy off my cock and dropped it onto my face.</p><p>“Make me cum,” Molly demanded.</p><p>I put my tongue to work. I made her cum. I’m pretty sure I made her happy, too, because she let me spend the night. We fucked again the next morning and again she was rough and dominant and I fucking loved it. She came on my cock, too. The whole thing was amazing and it was just the start of some seriously kinky times in San Francisco.</p><p>I’ll be back next week with another naughty tale.</p><p><a href="https://www.patreon.com/posts/70205054?pr=true"><em>Click here</em></a><em> to read the next part of the story.</em></p>